So how easy is it to have a successful first date? Unfortunately, it's not easy at all. During the past ten years, I've observed a shocking trend from my vantage point in the dating business: there are more failed first dates today than ever before. If the upsurge in the dating industry is any proof, people are going on more and more first dates. But these connections aren't working because the number of single people is at an all-time high. It's important to understand this current landscape, especially if you're newly single after a long relationship. The new dating world reflects three major challenges: the fallout from online dating, more sophisticated singles, and easier-to-obtain sex.
1) The Fallout From Online Dating
More options: The question for most singles is no longer if they're dating online, but how many sites they're using. Singles typically have dating profiles on two or three sites now. And they're open for romantic connections through their social networking sites too (e.g., Facebook, MySpace, Hi5, Bebo, even blogs). What's important here is the sociological implications of single men (and women) increasingly believing they have infinite first-date possibilities through the Internet. If a potentially better match is only a mouse-click away, why call someone back after a good-but-not-100-percent-perfect first date? Today dating reflects breadth, not depth.
HIGHER EXPECTATIONS: With so many options, singles evaluate more critically. This is very time-consuming, so they try to "surf and sort" as quickly as possible. The initial process becomes all about elimination: screening out rather than screening in. Ultimately, they're screening for perfection instead of potential.
EASIER REJECTION: Because online dates exist primarily behind a computer screen, they are less personal and therefore easier to reject. Dating is no longer about calling someone (or not) on the telephone, it's about hitting the send and reply buttons (or not). It's painless and nonconfrontational to delete the ones you don't want, just like spam.
2) Daters Are More Sophisticated
More relationships: Men and women come to the dating table today with more relationship experience. People typically begin dating at younger ages now than in past generations, and they stay single longer. The U.S. Census reports that the average age of marriage has risen from approximately 23.5 in 1980 to 26.5 in 2006. Think about what this means: if a thirty-five-year-old woman today had her first boyfriend in her early teens, she has been dating for more than twenty years. Depending on the longevity and number of her boyfriends, she could have, let's say, twenty significant relationships or more under her belt.
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