So think of me as your very own fashion fairy godstylist, here to take you on the magical journey to build a better you, starting with an improved wardrobe. I want to demystify the process, because there's nothing to be afraid of. Absolutely everyone can dress well. And it doesn't have to be scary. It's not like you're doing a home pregnancy test here, people. I want to show you that looking great is easy and fun-just like NASCAR and televised bass fishing. Okay, well, maybe not that much fun.
Now, some of you may have seen me wearing some pretty out there things on TV, and you're thinking, "Why should I listen to him??" Fear not. This is all about "Do as I say, not as I do." I wear clothes that are appropriate for my life as a gay reality makeover TV celebutante. I've been known to take my shirt off and go dancing at the Roxy till three in the morning on Saturdays. Most straight guys don't, so my personal style is going to be different from yours. I hope. Or you're going to be in for a big surprise next time you go to San Francisco. I'm going to recommend things that will help you get in touch with your own personal style and make you look great.
But before I tell you just how fabulous I can make you, you might want to know just how fabulous I am. Just kidding! But you might want to know where I come from and why I can help you: I was born a poor black child in the parking lot of a Kmart in Decatur, Alabama . . . Actually, I was born and raised in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I was practically Amish. Can you believe this much style came from Allentown? Which just goes to prove my theory that it doesn't matter where you come from; it only matters where you're going. Just because you're from a certain place, or you're black or white or straight or gay doesn't mean you can't become who you want to be. Don't dream it, be it, people! Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself!
But growing up gay in a blue-collar town like Allentown-and here's where I get serious for a moment-you realize that you're different, but you don't really know why or how. I mean, when you grow up poor, odds are your parents and siblings are poor, too, so you can go home and commiserate and fight over some government cheese or whatever. But when you grow up gay, you're like "Why do I have a crush on Lee Majors and nobody else in the first grade does? Why is my copy of Dynamite! magazine stuck together?" You're an outsider in many ways, so you turn a little more inward and focus on your self a little more. Because you don't have any friends. Ha, ha, ha! (Good times! Good times!) And that gives you a little perspective.
So I know what it's like not to feel good about yourself, and I also know how great it can feel to finally embrace who you really are. That's what I want to help people do-be confident and enjoy who you are. (Are you a jean or a khaki? Maybe you're a Jackie. But that's another book.)